This blog has seen many changes over the past 3 years. As I changed, or grew, this blog changed with me.
All good things come to an end.
Through this blog I’ve met a lot of interesting people, in the positive and negative way.
Some of your comments have helped me to move past issues that I wasn’t able to conquer myself, but this blog has also confronted me with the ignorance and intolerance that poisons this planet.
Some of you were open-minded and appreciated both my personal and artistic posts, while some of you clearly had the intention to break me, or stop me.
What you’ve been reading for the past two months have been scheduled posts, which I wrote down in a whiff of
joy insanity inspiration somewhere in May and the beginning of June. This post was written in the beginning of July. I haven’t read the blogs of other people in ages, since I haven’t had any time.
I started this blog to inspire, educate and, perhaps, help someone. To make people think about what’s happening around them and in the world today, through poetry, short stories, flash-fiction and, occasionally, a personal post. The problem with owning a blog is: you can’t control what sort of people you attract and you can’t punch those that annoy you.
The trolls know that. On the internet they can be the man (or woman) they never could be in real life.
I usually ignore these people, or I set them straight, after which they usually (sort of) apologize, but if I was able to teleport myself to each of their faces, I promise you, hospitals worldwide would be having capacity problems.
I read their blogs and all I see is a little, insecure person adding layer after layer and lie after lie to their empty core, pretending they have some sort of dignity and principles, when all they really want is attention. To feed their insecurity.
And they succeed. Their veiled self-glorification actually brings them readers.
It sickens me.
This world is already filled with masses paying attention to the wrong things and all these fools are doing is adding to the noise and distracting the people from the actual issues.
Nobody gives a shit about the thousands of people that die every day, because they have no food or water. Nobody gives a shit about the children that built the very laptop I’m typing on right now for 5 cents an hour.
No, let’s not talk about that. Let’s talk about me, because my problems are more important than the genocide we commit every day. And besides, you want something easy to read. You don’t want the truth, because the truth hurts. And hurting is bad.
You realize that poverty is because of us, right? Our greedy ways leave no space for others to live up to their potential.
I was selfish, too. Once.
When I blogged anonymous, all I ever talked about was my depression and my past. I thought I was doing something useful and that I was helping myself and others, but after a year of blogging, I noticed I progressed and most of my fellow mental health bloggers were still talking about the same shit.
They weren’t trying to help themselves or others. They just wanted to whine and get attention. Some were so far gone they probably didn’t even realize that.
But I did, and it pushed me to delete that blog and start over. I thought my approach should be subtle and I published a funny post where I had ‘conversations’ with God about the future of the planet.
That post got comments from three people.
Last month I published a dead-serious, not so subtle post about ‘The American Dream‘ and why it’s responsible for everything that’s wrong with the world today.
That post got no likes, and one comment.
I published four (!) personal posts on this blog, because I felt it was necessary, for selfish reasons. I write to progress and there were times I needed to write through the blockade. I needed to write to get on with my life.
These posts were popular. One even took 2nd place with 45 comments.
One time I was tagged by Twin Daddy and I decided to write a funny post. I thought: why not, it’s my blog, I can do whatever I want.
It took my blog to an all-time high with 52 comments. Till the day of today it’s still in my top 10 of most viewed and commented posts.
Apparently, the majority of bloggers and blog readers don’t want reality. They want fun and selfish whining, so they can read that and focus on someone elses ‘miserable’ life and pretend to possess empathy. In return, they’ll leave you a comment saying “I’m so sorry you went through that. I…” and dump their life-story on your shoulders, because that’s the compassionate thing to do.
Don’t get me wrong. I am all for personal growth. Everyone should have that possibility, but I believe that many bloggers are not doing it for growth, even if they say so, but for attention. And that’s wrong.
If you’ve been blogging about your issues for a whole year, I think you should feel some progress and if you don’t, I think you have a different problem and you should work on that first.
I found many bloggers that like to discuss their opinion on political issues, which essentially is a good thing, because many politicians only look out for themselves, instead of doing what they’re hired for. However, these posts also felt as adding to the noise. And I wondered: why?
I didn’t find the answer until recently, when I realized that all it is, is a result of the society we live in. We live in a selfish, needy, noisy world. We’ve been so neglected by our government and our peers that the only plausible counter-reaction is greed and selfishness.
Western Civilization has become a giant nest of baby birds, selfishly screaming for a bite of attention. And the mother bird is just as selfish and would rather keep it all to herself.
So what do we, the baby birds, do: we all start screaming our lungs out, hoping that mother bird hears our demands. And when it serves her purpose she does, but otherwise she doesn’t.
We lie to ourselves that we’re speaking out, but actually, we’re just adding to the noise and distracting everyone else from the core issues that’s tearing our humanity and planet apart.
We need to realize that speech without action are just words, and they will lose their value over time. You can continue to speak out, and educate others, but ignorance is not the problem in our civilization. A lack of motivation is. The continuous voice in the back of your head saying: “It doesn’t matter what you do, you’re incapable of making a change’.
Blogging about politics is nothing more than occupational therapy for the unheard and demotivated. You feel you’re contributing, and reaching out, but unless you have an action plan for your audience to engage in, you’re just spreading false hope that if we all believe hard enough, one day it may be better.
Education and raising awareness should be the first step in a serie of steps, not the entire plan.
I refuse to believe that I can’t make a change and I don’t care how our corporatocratic governments have us pushed into the corner. They have us believe that we are powerless.
Shame for them, I don’t believe that.
In a few days I will move back into the civilized world and in September I will be starting school. Add to that five days of working out and an almost three-year-old and my schedule is basically full. Besides that I still haven’t been able to even start looking for a publisher for the book I’ve written, and I’d like to publish a poetry-bundle somewhere in the future.
Both books will SUBTRACT from the noise.
I will definitely not be disappearing from the face of the planet, as I’m planning to break new grounds (in silence) regarding the above issues, using my education and my interest in psychology and philosophy.
This blog will remain available, as I will use it as a storage space for my poetry, short-stories and flash-fiction. Besides that, I will remain active on Twitter and Facebook, but mostly on Pinterest.
I promise you, the next time I make noise, it’ll be heard and it’ll mean change.
I’ll see you around.